Larchmont Family Therapy

noelle@larchmontfamilytherapy.com

914.834.2657
4 Chatsworth Avenue
Larchmont, NY 10538

Conflict Resolution

Think co-workers (your colleagues, your boss), family members (parents, siblings, children, in-laws), even friends. Conflict ranging from minor to major is simply inherent in the nature of human relationships. I am always a bit suspicious of relationships that are conflict free. They may in fact be disingenuous if people are avoiding expressing their true needs and feelings within the relationship. Many people are understandably conflict avoidant because they do not feel equipped to handle conflict maturely or without "losing it". In therapy you will be introduced to concrete conflict resolution techniques and you will learn skills aimed at improving your ability to face directly and soberly into conflict rather than to avoid it. In some circumstances there are likely options available to you that you have not tried. You may be surprised to learn that you have some leverage and more power than you think to create relationships that work for everyone involved. If you are in situations where people seem to instigate conflict routinely, you will learn skills to best handle that relationship and how to  avoid or reduce the drama that accompanies it. For example a difficult boss, an in-law or a young adult child. Even a defensive spouse. 

It is very hard to be in a healthy and mature relationship with a person who has many serious unresolved emotional issues. Underlying issues like a trauma history, a personality disorder or a substance use issue are examples. While most people are challenged by some level of defensiveness, these more serious variables need to be addressed before any real headway can be made in relationships with these people. Without cooperation from both parties it is sometimes not possible to negotiate a resolution. And finally, if you are in an abusive relationship with a true power differential and a dangerous physical or emotional dynamic you will be informed about resources that can help you. This is always assessed at the start of therapy.

The opportunity for personal growth always lies at the heart of the crucible of conflict.